He has to wait a minute, lets five go by without thinking too much of it because there's alcohol and it dulls things, makes it that much easier to function, let the time pass. Makes it easier, period.
Of course he remembers. He knows the why and how and what of it so clearly it's like he never left sometimes. Just doesn't let Sam know that part if he can help it, hides it away and drowns it out with music and liquor.
But he remembers the apologies, too. He remembers "sorry" and his brother looking at him like he was gonna break. He remembers thank god it's me and not him.
"It wasn't," he says finally, confirms, against Sam's silent protest.
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Date: 2009-06-11 06:27 pm (UTC)Of course he remembers. He knows the why and how and what of it so clearly it's like he never left sometimes. Just doesn't let Sam know that part if he can help it, hides it away and drowns it out with music and liquor.
But he remembers the apologies, too. He remembers "sorry" and his brother looking at him like he was gonna break. He remembers thank god it's me and not him.
"It wasn't," he says finally, confirms, against Sam's silent protest.